Last Friday, on the 4th of July, I watched the fireworks by myself. Now, I don't say that in a self-pitying way - in fact, I mean the opposite! Of course, it would have been nice to have some company, but I learned something very important about myself in the process.
I was house-sitting that weekend and hadn't been able to make plans with any of my friends to go see the fireworks, so around 10 pm, I pulled into a parking lot, hopped into the bed of my truck and settled in to watch the show. I even looked up Ray Charles' version of "America the Beautiful" and listened to it (The Sandlot, anyone?). And the fireworks were magnificent.
One of my greatest realizations of this past year is that I love having alone time, and am, in fact, an introvert. I wish so greatly that I had known this earlier in life. Growing up as an only-child, I came to detest being alone and always wished that I had siblings like all my friends. Everyone would tell me that siblings aren't that great and that you just fight all the time. However, even though I avoided sibling squabbles, I also missed out on all of the good things. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with that and be okay with simply hanging out with me, myself, and I.
But last Friday was especially important, because that was the first time I had celebrated such an important holiday by myself. And you know what, I was weirdly alright with it. It was encouraging because I know that no matter what happens in the future, I am independent enough to be content with myself and who I am becoming. As much as I want to get married like other girls my age, I realize that I don't need to have someone in my life to make holidays or special occasions feel "special" - and this is significant considering all of the years of grad school I have ahead of me! I would like to be "Dr. Graves" out-right before I get married :). And most importantly, I know that I always have God by my side, supporting me and loving me, even when I'm not being a responsible follower of Christ and don't make time for Him like I should. For that is what truly matters in the end.
So it turns out that I celebrated personal independence a little bit more than our national independence on the 4th, but I don't think that makes me un-patriotic necessarily :). My birthday is coming up in the beginning of August and that's a day that I usually end up spending by myself as well, but hopefully this year, I'll be content with whatever comes along. After all, holidays and birthdays are supposed to be "special", but they only take up a couple days out of the year, and I would much rather live with the mindset that every day is "special" and there is always something "special" to find in every day. God Bless, and I hope that you had a lovely Independence Day :).
Sincerely,
Olivia
PS. I got my first paycheck from the library yesterday! Hooray for more personal independence! I will probably be posting some humorous anecdotes about my job soon, so keep your eyes peeled :)
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