Crossroads and What Could Have Been

On the plane home from San Diego yesterday, I found myself wondering how different my life would have been if I had grown up there instead of in Northern California. For those of you who don't know, I was actually born in San Diego but moved here when I was really young. Don't get me wrong, I have loved growing up in Northern California, but whenever I visit my family in So-Cal, nostalgic thoughts of what could have been always linger.


A beach on Coronado Island - one of my favorites in So-Cal

I love my family so much. I mean, most people do, but I have always had such a deep connection with my grandparents, and also with my cousins - who are really close to me in age - because I happen to be an only-child.

When I was little and both of my parents worked, I would stay with my cousins during the day, and people just assumed that my aunt and uncle had five children! I only lived a couple minutes away from them and also from my grandparents. I still get to see all of them about twice a year - a few weeks in the summer and a week or so during Christmas break - but it would have been so different if we would have stayed.


This was taken a few years ago at my cousin Chloe's graduation

But God had different plans, and He urges me to look forward, not backwards. Yes, I might not have had to go through those seasons of loneliness that have plagued me over the years, and I could have been like one of those cool surfer girl stereotypes that you can see on television, but then again, I wouldn't have been the "me" that I am today. The "me" that God has been shaping for the last seventeen (almost eighteen) years. In the same way, I could have chosen to go to UCLA or UC San Diego or Cal Poly, and I would have been closer to my family down there, but I chose to go to UC Berkeley because it just felt right and I know that that is where God has me.

It has gotten harder and harder to say goodbye to my family as the years have gone by, because it is becoming less and less certain of when I will be able to see them again. Soon I will be a full-time student at Cal, I will be looking for a job, and I will have more responsibilities on my plate than I will know what to do with. Adult life is upon me and I need to accept that things will not be as cut and dry as they have been in the past. It will not be a given that I get to travel to San Diego during the summer or even over Christmas, but I have to trust that God knows the desires of my heart and that no matter what happens, it will be in my best interest. So anyways, last week was incredible,  many memories were made, and I already miss all of them terribly, but I am definitely looking forward to our next meeting :).

On a side note - I was thinking about how I am going to structure this blog and I think that as soon as I start school, I am going to try and post at least once a week on Saturdays. That will give me a good goal to follow and then you all will know when to check for a new entry if you are interested in reading about my endeavors. For the rest of the summer, I will have time to post at my leisure for the most part, but as soon as school starts, I may be quite pressed for time. But I will do my best to keep up with this because I really do enjoy it :)

Sincerely,
Olivia