Reflections



Cambrey and I at our high school graduation

I am often shocked when I think about all of the things that I take for granted each and every day. I said goodbye to my best friend a couple of days ago because she's going on a three-week-long vacation and I realized just how much I'm going to miss her. We've been good friends since kindergarten and went to school together all through elementary, jr. high, and high school until we graduated two months ago - seated side by side, both of us in complete and utter disbelief that the anticipated moment had finally arrived.

For thirteen years, she was the person that I always looked forward to seeing everyday at school because the odds were that I had something really important to tell her or that I needed to ask her advice about a pressing issue. We kept each other going throughout our crazy, hectic, and stressful senior year, and we could always find things to laugh about even when we felt like crying and giving up. We have been apart for most of the summer and I have missed her company greatly, but at the same time, I realize that those days of seeing her daily are gone. Those thirteen years have passed and now it has all come to an end. It's amazing to think that I dragged myself through most of those long days at school, and now, on the other side of things, I wish that I just had one more year with her and all of the other friends that I cherish so greatly. Growing up is hard.

Another thing that I've been thinking about lately is how easily I've been breathing now that I'm out of school. That's probably the aspect of life that I take for granted the most - that simple process of taking in oxygen and giving out carbon dioxide. We're always breathing, but only every once in a while do we even notice it because we are always running around with so much on our minds. I was watching a movie the other day and I suddenly focused on my steady heartbeat and breathing - completely relaxed and unburdened by the weight of stress. I didn't have to worry about writing an essay, or doubling up on AP Bio chapters, or struggling through Calculus homework - I could just sit and breathe and relax.  In...... out. In....... out. In....... out.

The coursework at Berkeley is guaranteed to be more difficult than anything I've experienced before, but I don't want to repeat the mistakes that I made my senior year of high school. I have already come to face the fact that I will not be able to get all A's like I've done in the past and you know what? THAT IS OK. I will survive and I will learn, no matter what happens. I want to remember what this state of contentment feels like when I am in the midst of my studies next year because at the end of the day, I will still be alive, I will still be breathing, and that in itself is enough.

I will be driving down to Berkeley by myself tomorrow in order to get a better feel for the campus, get my ID card, and have lunch with a friend. It will be good for me to assert my independence seeing as I'm about to start a whole new life on my own. So I might as well start now :).

Sincerely,
Olivia