In my last post I talked about my memory box, but I neglected to mention the reason why I had needed its comforting contents that day. The truth is, I have always struggled with loneliness and my tendency to become deeply attached to my friends. I know that this stems from my reality of being an only child, but I still have never been able to shake these feelings completely. Working it out with God has certainly made it all better, but there are times when it rises up and begins to overflow. This is what happened on the morning of July 3rd.
Everything seemed to hit me at once. Most of my family lives in San Diego and I usually go down to visit them for a few weeks over the summer, but as of July 3rd, it wasn't looking as if I would be able to make that trip this year. A couple of my closest friends were getting ready to leave for a big part of the rest of the summer on various adventures, and I was also beginning to realize just how much I am going to miss all of my friends and family next year when I'm at Berkeley. That morning I simply sobbed until I couldn't anymore. All of my tears were spent, but looking back, I don't remember praying in that moment. I think that I was too miserable to think about anything else - kind of pathetic I know, but I'm being completely honest here.
The next morning - July 4th - I sat down with my mother at our kitchen table to take a look at the calendar. I had previous engagements for the rest of the summer and we determined that my only window of opportunity to go to San Diego would be over the next two weeks. Then I remembered something. A very dear friend of mine had told me a couple days before that he and his family were getting ready to drive to San Diego for a vacation. I knew that it was a very slim chance that I would be able to go with them, but I decided to pursue it anyway and after a series of hectic phone calls I had a ride down to southern California. I left the next morning on July 5th. Remember, this was all taking place the day after my "emotional breakdown."
Throughout this whole experience, I have been reflecting on just how much God loves me. A couple weeks ago, I listened to a sermon about the first couple chapters of Exodus and how God had "seen the misery" and "heard the cries" of His people in Egypt, and how He was "concerned about their suffering." The God of the entire universe was acutely listening to the cries of His children and He was determined to rescue them. I remembered that when I was crying that morning, I had forgotten to pray, but God must have heard me after all. He knew the desires of my heart, and because He loves me, He took care of me. Of course, He didn't have to go to such dramatic measures to do so, but the amazing coincidences of this past week only serve to glorify Him and His amazing, perfect love.
So this is the story. There were many other things that happened along the way, but if I attempt to write out all of the "God things" that have occurred this week, I would be writing for a very, very long time. I hope that this story has given you a couple of smiles and some encouragement and that you are reminded that God loves us no matter what and that He is always listening.
Sincerely,
Olivia
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